Weekend lost

So this weekend I had tried my best to make plans with friends and one by one, plans fell through. I had to deal with disappointment. I am also very used to having my husband around on weekends but he has spent the weekend in South Carolina. I guess it's a good thing that I miss him as much as I do. I wound up going to dinner with my sister and afterward I was going to visit a friend but the rain deterred me. I remember back in my teen years and early 20s when rain really didn't phase me. Now that I'm almost 30 I get very irritated with rain and it serves as the excuse for me not to do things- I know how lame that is, trust me. I have definitely been struggling with depression big time- all weekend. Been feeling like a loser since I haven't been that busy. Also- despite all the free time, I do nothing productive. I could easily write or something else relaxing, but nope. I think it's much easier to self sabotage. My jaw has been majorly sore all this week- I am definitely feeling the physical signs of stress. I have my next TMJ appointment on Friday so I will look forward to hopefully finding something out there. While I was with my sister we watched a really good movie called "Fireproof". I highly recommend! Its all about reconnecting with your faith to help make your marriage stronger. I have a strong faith and have been feeling the need to reconnect with it and bring it more into my marriage. I am definitely having my husband watch this movie when he gets home. I have been feeling so lost and start needing to take action to help myself feel better. I know I can be my own worst enemy or my own best friend- and its my choice, every day, to decide which one I want to be. Depression wants you to be your own worst enemy but you have to fight it.