Pre Party Anxiety

So tomorrow I'm hosting a girls get together and of course I am a huge anxious ball of stress today. Ever since I can remember, parties and social gatherings are a source of a huge amount of stress where you have to do everything you can to look great for your guests- tons of pressure. Today I went to the grocery store and spent way too much money on snacks and beverages. Of course, I feel like I haven't gotten enough or done enough to make the 'Perfect' impression (see, my obsession for this fits nicely into my Perfect Facade). As a result of my stress about tomorrow's party, I decided to be irritable all day and pick fights with my husband, which really accomplishes so much (note heavy sarcasm). Interestingly enough, just as I was getting ready to smooth things over, I get my period. I sighed because I ALWAYS become even CRAZIER right before my period. I am one of those girls who, if I owned a gun, would most likely shoot people each month during PMS. So, I don't own a gun :). Instead, I just pick fights and get irritated at every possible thing..I guess I carry emotional weapons with me that I fire off carelessly toward my loved ones as often as possible. My period has been coming earlier now which is pretty annoying. It used to come every 40 days or so, which was great because I had a nice long break in between. Now it's down to 28 days, UGH. And, the past two months, it's arrived a few days early. I am very relieved I got it tonight instead of having it arrive during the party tomorrow- that could have been very awkward :). So, I have to thank Mother Nature for being unusually considerate this month. Even though I'm not happy she likes to come around more often than she used to. I should have known because I was craving sweets the past few days, and I don't crave sweets too often (luckily). My anxiety and depression are still the same, and I've decided for now at least to stay on the same meds until I get my TMJ situation straightened out. This brings me to my TMJ appt. yesterday. So, I went to see a TMJ specialist and paid $125 for 30 minutes (I wish I could make that much money!) He checked out my jaw and said I presented signs of TMJ and wants to see me for a follow up- the second appt will cost me $340 and the third will cost me $775, THEN I will have to pay MORE for whatever the 'cure' is that he suggests. Yikes. I went to him because someone I know had seen him for similar issues, and he did seem to help. So...I may just have to kiss my savings goodbye and follow through in hopes of a better quality of life. I do feel as though I won't be able to properly address my anxiety and depression until my TMJ is no longer a huge issue. Oy, stress, look what you've done to me! So- if any other anxious folk out there grind their teeth or clench their jaw, ACT NOW. Seriously. If I would have done something years ago, I may not need all this crazy expensive stuff. It's simply amazing all of the physical effects stress can have on ones body, and life is too short to live ruled by that stress.