Down

I find myself feeling very physically and mentally ill, on the verge of a breakdown. I am not confident that I can survive this. At this point I am writing, feeling unsure if this writing will turn into a memoir to be read while I am still alive or not. I know telling my Doctor or therapist this would equal them telling me I need to be on medicine. I feel very desperate to find a holistic cure. As of now I feel that I am completely crumbling and I feel very alone. I am living in hell.