Anxiety Update

I haven't updated in a while which isn't good, but better late than never! My anxiety has been going haywire lately. Last week I had a job interview and during the interview I had an anxiety attack- the room started to go black and I had to try and focus really hard to stay in the moment and not let my anxiety consume me. I also have to bring myself back to reality and realize that nothing is really wrong and its all in my head. A trick my Therapist taught me is that you have to think about who you're in the room with. Are they logical, rational people? Yes. Therefore, if something were really wrong with you, they would ask what's wrong and try to get proper medical attention. Well, as usual, they didn't ask :). Thinking about that helps ground me. I also felt very tired that entire day like I couldn't get my energy up- I worry so much that I have a breathing disorder or something because my energy is so low. Then I was thinking okay I did have the most energy when I was my busiest- and lately (especially with unemployment) my overall energy has severely decreased. I just have to get myself moving again and busy somehow- which is hard with my depression. Halloween is also a difficult time for me. I hate scary movies and scary things because anxiety already produces scary thoughts in my head so I really don't need more from a movie. I literally avoid all scary movies at all times. I don't even like previews. But then sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on life because I'm afraid of so many things. This week was pretty monumental because I went into the ocean (up to my waist). Doesn't sound like a big deal but it was for me. The last time I went into the ocean was 6 years ago and a wave knocked me over. I am petrified of waves. To me, the ocean is something huge that I cannot control and that makes me so uncomfortable. I'd rather stay safe on dry land which I can tell myself is controllable. I am really proud of myself for conquering my fear (somewhat) and stepping into the ocean. Once I got up to my waist I kind of freaked out and ran back to shore haha, but I did it! Maybe next time I'll stay awhile.