OCD Tendencies

So I remember a while back I watched an episode of MTV's show True Life titled "I have OCD". On the show, I watched various young people struggle with the rituals they had to perform to make themselves feel more at ease. Well, I do feel as though anxiety is a much bigger issue for me than OCD, but I definitely display OCD tendencies. My husband is going on a trip tomorrow and I started feeling nervous about it today. All the what ifs popped into my head- and of course I was thinking I don't want to be alone. Which is an interesting change because I used to like being alone- I am now one of those girls who is dependent! Anywho- I found myself thinking today that I couldn't be too happy- that I couldn't enjoy his company too much today- because if I did, then something might happen to him on his trip. Me being falsely 'in control' in my own mind- very twisted and I am aware its not at all logical (doesn't change the emotions). I actually have to wake up in a few hours and take him to the airport which makes it worse...but I couldn't not do it because that would be rude and I know he would do it for me. Perhaps after I make it back from the drive and after he makes it back from his trip okay, I can try to start getting over this interesting dose of OCD. Until then, I will be freaking out. Luckily, I did make some plans already this weekend to help keep me busy so Friday and Monday are the only days when I don't have anything planned- hopefully plans will help the time go by quickly. It's so interesting the battle between anxiety and logic. Logically, I know I am not in control. Emotionally, however, I have a really hard time adjusting my mindset. I totally get the rituals thing and understand why it would be appealing. I have a lot of compassion and understanding for people with more severe OCD. I also think that OCD and anxiety are very related, as usually rituals are caused by anxiety (at least that was the case in the show I watched). I bet there's a lot we can learn from each other, and maybe help each other cope too. Today I didn't receive any calls from potential employers- and I was feeling bummed about that. I woke up feeling a bit nauseous and my stomach was rumbling- stress is getting the best of me. My husband came home at lunch time and we sat on our back deck and I wound up staying outside for a while when he went back to work- I need to do that more often. Around 4pm I decided to FINALLY be productive and switch out my summer and fall wardrobe- which lead to creating a generous donation pile for Goodwill (they really n=benefit from my style changes!). At least I can feel good and accomplished about that. Well- I better force myself to sleep somehow- early wake up time tomorrow!