3 month mark

So 3 months ago today I sat in a room with my coworkers and found out we were all getting laid off. I don't know what it is about the 3 month mark, but its made me depressed. This whole process is so emotional and nothing really prepares you for it. I am so thankful I started volunteering because I really believe that has been my saving grace. I desperately needed something to do that would lift my spirit. Even when I don't feel like doing anything, volunteering always brightens my day. For those few hours, I am forced to think about others and try to make them smile. It does my spirit good. I even got a 'job offer' while I was there- part time making a very low salary. Definitely holding out for full time and, hopefully, a better salary. We'll see what comes. It feels like September has flown by- maybe October will hold more luck for me in the job front. I have gotten myself into another rut which comes quite naturally to me. Staying up all hours of the night then sleeping really late and feeling restless when I do wake up. Also I just feel blah- like my usual positive spirit is MIA. I have to keep faith- faith is the foundation that has kept me going this strong so far. I feel like I need to connect more with faith and therefore connect more with myself in the process. I really don't know how anyone with depression can survive without faith- to me, its the strong fire that keeps you going when the world seems hopeless (at least it seems that way inside your head). I need to stop thinking and start DOING, and start reconnecting. Beautiful weather helps too- I happen to love the cool, brisk air that fall brings into town. Of course, I sit inside and bask in my own misery instead of enjoying the gorgeous weather. Luckily, two years ago I was smart enough to buy myself a convertible. I HIGHLY recommend to my fellow friends with depression. Let me tell you, no matter how down you feel before driving, its really hard to not get a mood lift while driving a convertible. The vitamin D from the sun, the wind in your hair, breathing in the natural air- its wonderful therapy. I never knew I was purchasing a therapy-mobile at the time, but that is what it is, and I'm grateful for it :). I also have two awesome cats (my friends call me a crazy cat lady) and fully believe in the healing powers and amazing intelligence and compassion animals have. Yet again, no matter how down I feel, I can't help but smile when my cats purr or do something cute (which they do all the time). Animals are an amazing companion, and I feel as though my cats are two gifts I get to enjoy in my life. Long story short, even in depression, you have to do something to find your own Zen. And you are responsible to find that and cultivate that- you are your best friend and worst enemy. You always do better when you're your best friend.