Today I really didn't want to go to Therapy. I didn't feel like driving and I just didn't feel like I was up for it. Luckily, the financial obligation of having to pay if I cancelled last minute was enough to force myeself to go. I quickly realized that the times you really don't feel like going are the times you really need to go.
Truth be told, I have come back to the plce where I don't feel like doing anything, or going anywhere, so I knew therapy was not really the problem. My Therapist and I had discussed last week of taking more of a cognitive approach and so this week she was challenging some of my thoughts. As she spoke, I logically knew she was correct but emotionally I could feel my head fighting back with her- my head is quite stubborn and not going down easily. Some key concepts we focused on were just because you have a feeling and you believe it to be true that does not necessarily mean that it is true. This is something I understand at a logical level but again my emotions want to fight it with all the gusto they have. She also mentioned to me that I need to be more nurturing to myself, which is something that again I have logically been aware of for quite sometime but, to be honest, have not practiced. This will be immensely difficult as it does not come naturally. I am up for the challenge and willing to give it a try.
Since I like to share resources I find- last night I came across a free 21-day online meditation series. It just started yesterday so here's the link: https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience. I was always very resistant to meditation- then about 50 different people over the course of the past seven years have told me I needed to try it- so I finally started a few months ago. While I would consider myself a beginner, I am enjoying it more than I thought I would and I do find it relaxing (a word normally foreign to my being). So, if you are a stubborn ox like myself, my advice is to get over yourself and just try it :).
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