Today I went to an Orthodontist to get a second opinion. My bottom teeth are very crowded and I have an overbite, so I have thought of invisalign previously. I've also been dealing with TMJ for 3 years now. Recently the pain has become worse again as the orthodic made previously by the specialist I was seeing is no longer effective. I paid about $5,000 for treatments with that specialist and went through a long process of a MRI, getting a mold done (which I was terrified of), follow up appointments, and more. The fact that I still have this pain makes me feel like an idiot for spending all that time and money into something that ultimately did not work. I now have to think of starting over with a new specialist, who again isn't going to accept insurance.
To make it worse, I caused this. I grind my teeth at night which I am sure is a result of the fact that I am wired to be stressed out pretty much 24/7. It does not come naturally to me to relax. Sleep has always been a trigger for me. I suppose normal people feel restful when they go to bed- I get more on edge. I believe this is because when I was little I would often see ghosts in my room, so I spent the vast majority of my childhood being scared out of my mind to sleep- thinking someone/something would come attack me the second I actually relaxed. This mentally has unfortunately carried into adulthood.
Today I find myself feeling very down, lost, disappointed in myself in all ways. I feel so very weak.
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